Austin and Carly

It was one of those nights..

2012-02-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

Just when you think you are doing well, coming out on top, and proud of your accomplishments, life kicks you in the teeth.

I had the opportunity to help one of my favorite nurses in a code situation. There wasn't much we could do for this patient, but I went into nurse mode instead of crying and running the other way. I walked out of there feeling proud of myself. I faced a fear.

Death is something I will never understand, but I've given up trying to understand.

Later, another code. We get the ambulance call and I can feel the "numbness" (I can't find another work to explain this feeling) creeping to my head. All I can focus on is not passing out. 2 codes that hit too close to home in one night?? Last night was an extra shift for me. I shouldn't have been there, but I was. I woke up with the thought, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger."

I hope with every life and death situation I get more confident and strong.

Source: google.com via Carly on Pinterest

Wear your heart on your sleeve

2012-01-13T09:27:00.000-08:00

I came across this post on an amazing Facebook page. Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve for Suicide Prevention. I wanted to share with everyone. This is a year for healing, coping and learning to live a different life. Losing my brother is defining me right now and I don't want this tragedy to define who I am.

This year I resolve to:
1. Not put a time limit on my grief. Loving someone means loving them for my life time whether they are physically present or not.
2. Tell their stories, the happy and the sad they will live on through me.
3. Teach others that they cannot “make” me cry, tears are only an external expression of how I am feeling all the time.
4. Understand that crying or otherwise expressing my pain is healthy and normal. “Doing well” means expressing my feelings.
5. Understand that others will not understand my pain and it isn’t fair to expect them to do anything but listen.
6. Recognize that asking for help from those that love us is a really a gift that we give to them.
7. Help others, reaching out to others in pain will help me to heal.
8. Do something nice for myself everyday.
9. Know that if today I can not do everything that needs to be done, tomorrow is another chance to get it done.
10. Cry when I need to, laugh when I can and to not feel guilty about either one.
11. Let go, bit by bit, of the guilt, regret and anger that can be so damaging.
12. Take a risk and let others into my life and heart.
13. Take care of my physical, emotional and spiritual health.
14. Reinvest in life a little bit each day…

Especially at work, I'm embarrassed by my tears. I feel I should buck up, deal with it and go on with normal business. This is something I'm really working on. I tell myself, 'crying is normal, crying is healthy.'

One of my close childhood friends lost her sister in a tragic car accident. This is how she explains loosing a sibling..

The only way I can explain loosing a loved one to someone who has not is like this: When it first happens you feel like there is a giant boulder on top of you. You can't move, can't breath or think. But eventually the boulder gets a little smaller. Then one day it becomes a pebble in your pocket. It's something that you will always carry with you but It's a lot easier to cary on with.

I couldn't have said it in a more perfect way. She also gave me a poem.

"I would like to beg you to have the patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live with them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

Source: Uploaded by user via Carly on Pinterest

Out with the Old, in with the New

2012-01-02T11:51:00.000-08:00

What a freaking roller coaster 2011 was. I started out 2011 working at Nexstep Medical Detox. I met some really amazing people there, life changing individuals. It just wasn't a good fit for me, I wanted more for my nursing career. One day I'd love to return to drug and alcohol treatment.
I was then hired on at UVRMC ER. This was supposed to be my dream nursing job. One week into my orientation my brother passed away and my outlook on ER nursing completely changed. Before, All I wanted to see was traumas, blood, and gore. After being on the other side of a trauma, I didn't want to set foot into a trauma bay. Even working near the trauma bay is difficult, watching families say their final goodbyes brings me to tears. I'm working through my anxieties every day. Either things are getting easier, or I am becoming more callused (defense mechanism).
Losing Cory this year was awful, terrible, traumatic, and life changing. I miss him every single day. A part of me was lost when he left this life, and I'll never get it back. I couldn't have gotten through this without Austin, my family, my sister, and Chandra. They are my safe place, my rock. I'm still processing his death, and will be for a long time, but I'm just thankful I have wonderful people in my life to help me up along the way.
Scared as I may be, I'm ready to face the next year. Whatever challenges it may bring, I'm pretty damn sure I can overcome anything.
My hopes for this year: Plan a wedding (finally) and marry the most amazing man on the face of this planet, get pregnant and not miscarry, finish my certifications at work, invest in property or a new home, be a better wife*, forgive myself for not being a better sister, go back to Portland, spend more time with family and close friends, take care of my body, mind and soul, cook dinner more often, go on a vacation-white sandy beach:), blog, get a beautiful tattoo to honor my brother, let go of grudges, forgive others, and let go of things that cannot be changed. As you can see, I've got big plans for the next year.

Slow Cooker Bacon-Wrapped Apple BBQ Chicken

2011-10-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

Six Sisters' Stuff: Slow Cooker Bacon-Wrapped Apple BBQ Chicken: You all know about my obsession with my crock pot . . . and I am always on the lookout for more yummy crock pot recipes. I saw this one over...

Words for Comfort

2011-08-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

‎"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." -Headstone in Ireland

I Wish You Were Here

2011-03-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

I hate days like today. All I do is sit and try to convince myself that you are really gone. I try to accept the fact that I will never get one of your big, heartfelt hugs ever again. I'll never get to have a heart to heart with you, I'll never get to tell you how sorry I am. I'll never get one of those days like up at Laurie's property last summer. You were so happy then. I'll try to hold on to those fun memories.
I go to work and I see you in my young patients. So full of pain. I find myself telling them things I wish I would have said to you. Hoping that I might make a difference in one of their lives.
I wish I knew what you were thinking when you did this. I wish things could have been different. There are so many things I wish I would have done differently.

No words

2011-03-13T04:37:00.000-07:00

(I was writing this at 4 AM when the nurses came into the hallway to come into the room. I didn't get a chance to post till now)

No words can begin to explain how I'm feeling now. The next few hours are likely to be my last with my baby brother. I love that kid so so much. There are so many memorable moments with him, one of my favorites is me riding my 4 wheeler and him on his dirt bike in the foothills of Springville. We would ride clear to Provo where there are some "sweet jumps", every time he would cheer me on and tell me to go higher:) He has always been my very best friend. One of the more funny memories is when we were fighting in the back yard and I kept egging him on to hit me. I was thinking, "He doesn't dare hit me." Then......WHAM, decked me right in the face. That was my first bloody nose. I can laugh now, because this is just what siblings do.
But ya know, he has the biggest heart out of any person I know. That kid would give you the shirt off his back. When my grandpa passed away I went through some dark times and I could count on him to answer his phone at 3 AM and he would cry with me and talk me through it.

(UPDATE)
Cory passed early this morning. He is at peace now, and I feel peace. His suffering is relieved. The whole family appreciates the heartfelt messages and fond memories shared by his friends. Love each and every one of you.

Cory:'(

2011-03-12T12:53:00.000-08:00

He loves each and every one of you reading this. Keep praying for him.

Cory

2011-03-12T12:51:00.001-08:00

2011-03-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

I guess I'll have to do two posts. I can't fit all the picutres that I want. There are some of my favoite photos of him. I'll have to dig up some old ones. Don't really know what to say. This is the hardest, most difficut thing I've ever had to deal with.

2010-04-11T07:36:00.001-07:00

If anyone watches Nurse Jackie, I feel like Zoey. A stupid nursing student that is awkward in every possible situation. I walk onto a floor and immediately the nurses spot me with Provo College stitched into my scubs...I can see the look on their faces, they don't want a nursing student following them all day. Every now and again you will get a nurse who is totally willing to teach you, and I am so grateful for those few nurses. So, if there are any nurses reading this, PLEASE be kind to your students and share your knowledge.

I don't know where to start. Things have been so crazy since I started the nursing program. I'm ready to slow down and enjoy life. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions. I want to help everyone out and be a good friend. It's so hard to balance everything. School, family, friends, work, and schedules are getting the best of me these days. I keep telling myself, 'Hold out till August, you can do this.' But I keep thinking of all the unpaid hours I will be spending at the hospital this summer. I hate being cooped up when it's 80 degrees outside and my sister and the girls are playing at the pool without me:(

Finally, I found out where I'll be spending all those unpaid hours...IMC at UVRMC. The floor is a step down from ICU. I'm excited and very nervous. Our nursing instructor found an article stating that most of the nursing errors come from nursing students in their preceptor. Yeah, that scares the shit out of me. I never realized how much responsibility nurses have. They are the eyes and ears for the doctors and if we overlook something, we could potentially kill a patient. Scary reality. Lately I've been wondering, 'what the hell did I get myself into?'.

As for everything else...

Austin and I are great, however, I wish people would stop asking, "When are you guys getting married?" Seriously, you will know when we decide. We are happy, that's all that matters. He is really the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I come home and the house is clean, dishes are done, Denny has been walked. And he puts up with me when I am crazy and stressed out. I couldn't have gotten through school without him.

Long story short, Austin has an old POS Land Cruiser that he bought a long time ago, now he is going to start working on it. He has all these ideas and no money:( Most of the work he can do himself, but there are somethings like an engine that he has to buy. He says it will be, "BA!" (bad ass). I am a little anxious for him to finish it so we can go to Moab again.

As for Denny, he is getting fat... probably because I don't exercise with him like I used to. That will change when mother nature decides to stop PMS'ing and let the sun shine! I didn't realize he was getting plump until my sweet sister pointed it out. Thanks Hay.

Well that is my life in a nutshell, it may be another 4 months until I blog again. Hope you enjoy:)

Yummy Recipe

2010-02-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

Chandra gave me this yummy recipe. It turned out SO good! It's not as spicy as it sounds either...kid friendly:)

SPICY CHEESEBURGER SOUP

1 ½ Cups Water 1 lb. ground beef, cooked and drained

2 Cups cubed peeled potatoes 2 ½ cups milk, divided

2 small carrots, grated 3 Tbsp. flour

1 small onion, chopped 8 oz. Velveeta cheese, cubed

¼ Cup green pepper, chopped (1/2 a bell pepper) ¼-1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped ½ lb. bacon, cooked and crumbled

1 clove garlic, minced

1 Tbsp. beef bouillon

½ tsp. salt

Cook and drain ground beef, set aside. In a large saucepan, combine the first nine ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 15-20 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Stir in beef and 2 cups of the milk, heat through. Combine flour with the remaining milk until smooth and gradually stir into the soup. Bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened and bubbly. Reduce heat, stir in cheese until melted. Add cayenne. Top with bacon just before serving.

Good news..

2009-11-13T15:25:00.000-08:00

Trav is off the ventilator and breathing on his own! This is a big step in the right direction. Love you Trav, keep this up:)

Update on Trav

2009-11-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is Trav's bum we are touching;) He always tried to hook it up with the ladies that are already taken. Travis is a fighter, to say the least. There haven't been any significant setbacks since the second surgery. He is staying the same, still unconscious and on a ventilator. Doctors think they'll place a tracheostomy Sunday or Monday. They say usually swelling decreases by day 8-10 so we are hoping for more change late this weekend and early next week.
Trav clenches his left fist pretty hard so his mom went and bought him a little beanie baby puppy for him to hold on to, and with his right hand he'll pet it;) The doctors were pretty worried about his right arm for a little while but he has been moving it quite a bit. Travis has the most amazing family. To his parents: you two are the source of our strength. We all look forward to going to the hospital and having a laugh with Nick, he is always good for a story or two. Toby you are kind and compassionate, I see why Trav loves you so much. Nick (brother), is the rock for their family, he is strong, kind, and always has everything taken care of.
It's surreal looking at these pictures, we have so many memories with Trav and so many more to come. We are optimistic and praying for him to wake up. Although sometimes his friends need to be reminded every now and then to be patient;) Trav has been through hell and needs time to heal. He will wake up when its time. Keep Trav and his family in your prayers, we love you Travis, STAY STRONG!

T-LO

2009-11-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

Our best friend Trav (T-Lo, T-love..whatever you would like to call him) is in surgery right now for the second time in two days. He has skull fractures and bleeding that is causing his brain to swell.
I just wanted to post some pics so you all know who you are praying for. You are praying for our best friend, the life of the party, the friend who is always there for you no matter what, our shoulder to cry on, the friend who will make you laugh even if you don't want to.

Trav is a man on many talents, he plays the guitar and the ukulele (very well I might add), he waits all summer for snowboarding season, he recently took up mountain biking to fill the void in the summer. Music is Trav's life, he is always telling us about the up and coming new bands. A few songs come to mind when I think of Trav, Hero by Enrique, and Wish you were here by Pink Floyd. Oh and how he LOVES concerts, he is the one always rocking out with complete stranger
Please pray for Travis's speedy recovery and support and strength for his family. We love you so much Trav, you are strong and stubborn, you will pull through this!

PLEASE sign the petition...it only takes a minute

2009-09-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

2009-09-14T10:15:00.001-07:00

Apricot-Almond Pie. YUMMO!

2009-07-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Finally, summer can begin for me. I just finished my 2nd semester in nursing school, 3 more to go. Thank God, because I was going crazy this semester. Next, is mom/baby, L&D, and pediatrics, which I am stoked for because eventually I would like to be a pediatric nurse.
Now I have a 3 week break, I plan to clean, exercise, apply for financial aid, move my bedroom set into my house, cut Denny's hair, cook, play with my nieces, visit the grandma's, and last but not least RELAX!
Speaking of cooking, I found this yummy recipe on Little Birdie Secret's blog but I don't know any one with an apricot tree. Know anyone?

apricot-almond pie

Apricot-Almond Pie
1 pastry crust (the recipe I use is below)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
4 cups sliced, pitted apricots (about 1 3/4 lbs)
1/2 tsp. almond extract plus 2 T. water
1/4 cup slivered almonds, optional
Crumb Topping:
Stir together 1/2 cup flour and 1/2 cup brown sugar. Using a pastry blender or a fork, cut in 3 T. butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

1. Prepare and roll out pastry and line a 9 inch pie plate with it. Prepare crumb topping and set aside.
2. In a large bowl combine sugar and flour. Add apricots and almond/water. Gently toss until coated.
3. Transfer apricot mixture to pastry-lined pie plate. Sprinkle crumb topping over the filling. Sprinkle with almonds (I usually don't add these since my husband is not a fan of nuts, but I have had it with them before and it is YUMMY.)
4. Lightly tent the pie with foil and bake at 375 for 25 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for an additional 20-25 minutes or until top is golden and bubbly. Cool on a wire rack and ENJOY!

Pastry Recipe (from Betty Crocker):
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/3 cup plus 1 T. shortening
2-3 T. cold water

Mix together flour and salt. Cut in shortening with a pastry blender or fork. Sprinkle with cold water, adding more (1-2 tsp. if necessary) until all flour is moistened and pastry almost leaves side of bowl. Gather into a ball and roll out on floured surface. If you have time you can refrigerate the pastry in plastic wrap for 30 minutes to make it easier to roll. Transfer to pie plate and cut off any excess. Sometimes I will 1 1/2 the recipe if I want a thicker crust.

Tonights dinner

2009-06-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

I found this recipe on Little Birdie Secret blog. It was so easy and SO SO delicious. I highly recommend this one! Oh and big thanks to Chance and Leslee for letting me borrow their super awesome pizza pan. The crust was really crunchy, just the way I like it.

15-minute pizza dough and gourmet pizza recipes

My husband thinks I'm quite the gourmet every time I make pizza. I know, it sounds too easy to be true, but a good pizza can make you you the goddess of your abode. But we're going to make it even easier with our favorite 15-minute easy pizza dough (courtesy of my mother-in-law--thanks, Jode!). Once you've got this recipe down, making deluxe pizzas will be a piece of pie!

15-Minute Pizza Dough Recipe

2 1/2 c. flour
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup hot water (120-130°, use a candy thermometer for accuracy if you're not sure)
1 Tbsp. Rapid Rise or Bread Machine yeast
2 Tbsp. olive oil

Preheat oven to 500°. Mix dry ingredients together. Add hot water and olive oil. Mix for five minutes (I use my Kitchen Aid mixer with the dough hook, but you could do this by hand, too). Let rest 10 minutes. Press dough on pizza pan, pizza stone, or jelly-roll pan. Bake at 500° for 3 minutes. Take out of the oven and cover with toppings. Return to the oven and bake 8-10 minutes more. Makes one large pizza (16-18 inches).

Told you it was easy. Now for some great toppings.

BBQ Pork Pizza Recipe

15-Minute Pizza Dough recipe
1 tub Lloyd's Hickory BBQ Pork (or similar prepared BBQ meat)
2 c. shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1 Tbsp. sugar
1/3 bunch cilantro, chopped

While your dough is resting, caramelize your onions. Place sliced onion in a frying pan over medium heat. Add sugar and cook for several minutes, stirring occasionally. Your onions are ready when they become tender and a little sticky.

Heat your meat according to the package directions. After baking your dough for 3 minutes, cover the crust with the BBQ meat.

Cover the meat with mozzarella cheese. Using a fork, separate onions and spread over pizza. Sprinkle on cilantro.

Return to the 500° oven for 8-10 minutes. EAT!

2009-06-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

I was caught off guard the other day when someone asked me about my grandpa. Normally I can respond without getting emotional, but this time it was different. It is weird to think that it has been three years since I have hugged him, three years since he has walked around my car inspecting every inch of it, three years since I have heard him give my grandma shit. We all miss him so much, even Haddie, who has never even met him. She kisses his picture and will ask, "where is grandpa?" My grandma is such a strong independent woman, she has done so good these past three years, I truly admire her. Some people think I am crazy, but I look forward to my clinical days on the 7th floor (oncology) because it makes me feel close to him, taking care of the people who are going through the same things he did, and looking just like he did.

Wow guys, sorry for such a depressing post.

The Big Day

2009-06-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

What a freaking day, this is me and Chan right before we were rushed down the aisle. No wedding is perfect, but considering the circumstances....Chan's wedding was perfect. She had been planning her wedding to be in her back yard, Chad and Shanna spent so much time making it look perfect and they didn't get to use it. So the day before the wedding the forecast was 10% chance of rain, then the day of it changed to 60%. Their neighbors were so nice, they called and said they could use their lodge if it started raining. Sure enough it was a downpour! Everything was moved indoors, but the lodge turned out to be beautiful! She really lucked out.
Jessica looked amazing, obviously you cant tell in this pic, but she is 8 1/2 months pregnant! She rocked that dress. The ceremony, dinner and reception went great. The food was soooo good, we had fajitas, an ice cream bar and a candy bar. I'm a little sad that I didn't have my camera, so these are the only two pictures I took. Hopefully Chan will post some on FB. Chan, its finally over, you can breathe. I am so happy for you and Dallas, thank you for picking me for one of your brides maids. LOVE YOU!

Brag Sesh

2009-05-22T06:45:00.001-07:00

So, as you all know, I am in school. Lately it has been hell. For example, for next weeks test we have to ready 360 pages by Wednesday. I'm overwhelmed, to say the least. Chandra and I needed a night out:) Our original tickets were WAY UP in the nosebleed section. When we started walking to our section a nice E Center employee handed us 6 FRONT ROW TICKETS!!

We haven't been that excited in a very very long time. There were 2 opening comedians, and I wish I could remember their names because they were hysterical. Then Dane came out, I was seriously star struck. He put on a great show and he even pointed and smiled at me and Chan. LOL we are such dorks.

Favorite quote from the night, "I don't think your fallopian tubes take double A batteries."

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAN!

"Ok dat sound like a good plan"- Haddie Bob

2009-05-08T06:26:00.000-07:00

(Said with a mouthful)"These are so good!"

I think her favorite part of the whole day were the melted Oreo cookies I had packed, at one point she shoved a whole one in her mouth!

Ok, I know everyday is a different story with me. Do I want kids? Most of the time I say hell no. But after days like this how could I not? Haddie and I had SO SO much fun. We had a picnic up the canyon at Jolly's Ranch. They have this cool new playground, and Haddie was in awe when she set eyes on it! She freaked me out with her bravery, these steps that she is going across are like 4 feet off the ground! I was so worried that I would have to take her home to her mom with a broken arm or something, but she did really good.

"AUNT CARLY!!! Take a picture of me like this!!"

She loves Denny the dog, they are best pals. We couldn't resist this photo op. She kept a watchful eye on him the whole time, with the river being right behind us. Haddie did not want him to fall in. When he would wander off she would yell "DENNY! (in a very sweet voice) stay heerrreee." Right when we got there she said, "I'm gonna swing for 5 minutes then well eat on the blanket. Ok dat sounds like a good plan." LOL

Oh my hell, on the way home we were jamming to Blue October and "her song" came on, probably the one you are listening to right now, Drilled a Wire Trough my Cheek. Yeah, she is harcore. When the laughing part comes on she opens her eyes really wide and does this freaky laugh! I had a hard time keeping my eyes on the road she is a hoot!
We had such a fun day, I wish I had more days off so I could spend them with my girls (P.S.) next time I'll take you too Gracie:) Love you Haddie thanks for a fun afternoon!

Play Time!

2009-05-05T15:21:00.001-07:00

Someday when I have children I will blog about them, until then you guys get Denny:) I just love this picture, it reminds me of a shot you would see in a magazine advertising dog food! He likes to put the frisbee over his head and run around like a mad man. Oh, he keeps me entertained.

MINE!!

Update

2009-04-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

Forgive me for NEVER blogging, we haven't done much lately. Most of the time I am in school or at work. I'm just finishing up my first semester in nursing school at Provo College. Next semester is going to be hell. 4 classes, labs, clinicals. Oh, and a little work. So far nursing school has been awesome, my favorite experience has been assisting the IV therapy nurse to insert a PICC line! As you can see, Denny is doing great. He is the worlds best dog:) Minus the few accidents, chewing up my bran new blinds, and scratching the paint off the garage door. I just pretend it never happened. (Haley, I am still waiting for a post on Ollie)

We moved into our house about a month ago, and we really like it. Can I just say, I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING!! I never know what to buy, and I always feel like I spend way too much for what I bought. But, I guess thats the breaks of living on your own. Our house is still pretty bare, but we'll get around to hanging things.
So, Haley got me hooked on Weeds. It is a TV series on Showtime. I highly recommend it, just not around children! Its is about a pot dealing suburban mom. Hillarious.
Well, I will try to take more pictures and do more interesting things.

Everyone, meet Denny!

2009-04-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

MEET DENNY

At last, I finally feel complete:) Denny is possibly a Schnauzer-Yorkie, 1-2 years young. Whatever he is, we love him. Yesterday Austin and I drove to Riverdale to meet a dog. He was extremely hyper to say the least (he did get adopted that day, so I didn't feel that bad for passing up on him). So, we looked at the other dogs that were up for adoption. I had a hard time watching the dogs in their crates. They were all saying, "Take me home!", except for Denny (formerly Bruester). He was very quiet and calm. The adoption agency explain to me that they got him from a shelter who was going to put him to sleep because he was nippy with the staff, he had been abused by the men in his life. Denny loves girls, but is VERY timid with men. So far, he has been a great dog, he sleeps a lot.

He is slowly learing to love Austin, and Austin just adores Denny! Lastnight we showed him where he would be sleeping...right next to our bed. Instead of crawling onto his comfy blanket, he walked underneath our bed and layed down. It broke my heart, he wanted his crate back. He didn't move all night. Denny will learn to love his new freedom.

Denny is our little baby now. He is so well behaved and we couldn't have made a better choice. It feels amazing to save a dog instead of making a breeder rich:)

Levi Jean

2009-03-16T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of moving so I don't have a camera cord to post a picture of my cute dog Levi. Some of you may think it is dumb to do a post on my dog but I loved him so much, he was really important to me and my family. Levi passed away on March 12th at the ripe age of 15, the vet said he suspected congestive heart failure and a collapsed trachea. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I stayed with him till the end.
We adopted him about 11 years ago from an abusive home. When my sister and I picked him up he was filthy, matted, starved, and a few of his teeth were broken out. At first he was a little timid (who wouldn't be after being beaten and neglected?), but then he came out of his shell, he was such a barker! If the wind blew he barked, if the neighbor walked by he went nuts. He definitely had little man syndrome. It was all uphill from there. He was the most spoiled dog on the block! He had his personal blanket courtesy of my Aunt Holly, she made it from genuine Levi Strauss jeans. It was his favorite. He was not the type of dog that liked to be dressed up, but he did have a few sweaters to get him through the winter. We moved in with my Grandma about four years ago, when my mom found a new house she didn't want to move Levi to another home (we had moved quite a few times that year) so Grandma said he could stay. He was so happy, he freaking ate better than I did! She would always cook a little extra for Levi, his favorite food was spaghetti (Kind of strange huh?). Oh, and she would play with him for hours on end. He loved to chase his toy squirrel.
Levi had a way of knowing when you were sad or sick or hurting, he would cuddle up with you and nuzzle his head into your neck. It was the sweetest gesture in the world. He also liked to take naps with me, he would lay on his back with his arms up and snore so loud, most of the time he would nap and I would lay awake listening to him snore:) Sometimes Austin would get a little jealous of Levi, he thought I was nicer to the dog then I was to him (which is totally true:)) He was my pookie poo!
Levi was a good dog and he had and amazing, long life, thats what I have to remember to get me through the day.There are so many things that I will miss, if I wrote everything that I'd miss you'd be reading for hours. The hardest thing is going home to an empty house without an adorable face waiting to greet me. Now he is up in heaven with Grandpa:) playing 24/7 and eating all the spaghetti he could ever dream of!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2008-12-27T09:51:00.001-08:00

I am still new at blogging and I can't figure out how to rotate these. Sorry, you'll have to turn your head:) We went to Haley and Jayson's house in the morning for breakfast and to exchange gifts. This is the funnest part of Christmas day! One of the first things that Gracie showed me was her new back pack! Ha ha. Of all the toys that Haddie got, the Jack-in-the-box was her favorite. It is funny how kids love the small things.

Well Christmas has come and gone. There is so shopping, baking, and WRAPING leading up to the big day and then it is over before you know it. Overall, we had a great Christmas! Of course I was up at 6 a.m. and I had to wait till 8:30 for Austin to get up. Our main gift to each other was our couches and our kitchen table that we got on Black Friday. Then to make our Christmas a little more fun, we got eachother a small gift. I got him Guitar Hero and he got me a new Ihome radio. YAY! I had to blog about my cute little old dog for a minute:) He really ticked me off the other day. I went to round up my wraped presents for my Dad's Christmas party, low and behold....LEVI HAD PEED ON THEM ALL!! I had to rewrap most of them but some I just threw in a bag and called it good. He looks pretty pissed off in this one. I think it's the festive sweater that is upsetting him.This is Christmas day after we had been running around. We both look pretty tired. I wish we could all just stay home and not feel obligated to go to EVERYONES house.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Husband Tag

2008-11-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

Yep, I know I am not married yet but Haley tagged me and it does look fun.

Full name: Austin Tyler Bylund

How long we've been married: 0 Years, 0 Months:) I have known him for 6 years.

How long did we date: Been dating for two and a half years.

Who eats the sweets? It is a tie. Neither of us really love candy.

Who said I love you first: This is sad but I don't really remember, but I believe he did.

Who is taller: Austin

Who sings better: Ha neither of us. We both try though.

Who is smarter: Austin for sure. I try to help him with his homework, but it is useless.

Who does the laundry:We both do our own. When we get a house he'll do the washing, because he is very picky about how his clothes are hung and folded.

Who pays the bills: We pay our own.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed: Me

Who mows the lawn: I have never mowed a lawn in my life. I would cut off my foot or something. Austin does it really pretty, when he is done with the lawn it looks like a baseball field!

Who cooks dinner: Austin is a much better cook than I am. Especially his F'ing awesome mashed potatoes.

Who drives: half and half.

Who admits they are wrong: ME, he is NEVER wrong.

Who asked who out first: He called me up and yelled, "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO DINNER AND A MOVIE?"

Who wears the pants: Me, he is like Jayson, easy going and goes with the flow.

What does he do that surprises you: He will play Bunko with me:)

My favorite feature on him: His eyes, they are so blue! Oh and of course, his beard.

Does he have a nickname for you: Mamma Bird, Pookie poo.

His favorite food: Cereal, he could live off of cereal.

His favorite sport: Snowboarding.

Our favorite thing to do as a couple: We love to go to the movies, now its pretty expensive so we RedBox it.

Does he have any hidden talents: He can draw! I never knew it untill he sketched something for a tattoo. (Don't worry, he never got it:))

What do you admire most about him: Austin will never say a bad thing about anyone.

His favorite color: Probably brown or grey.

How did he propose: Awww....He took me up to sundance and we rode the lift. On the way up he carefully pulled the ring out of his pocket. There is more to it, but I'm sure you have all heard it!

Tag!

2008-10-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Tagged
8 Things..........

8 TV shows I watch

Greys Anatomy
Samantha Who
Its always sunny in Philadelphia
Family Guy
Private Practice
Seinfeld
Friends
Some new chick thing called Privileged

8 things that happened yesterday

Drank my morning Chai
Spilled my morning Chai
Dropped a syringe and had it land in my thigh..OUCH.
I gave lots and lots of shots
Watched The Crappening....I mean The Happening.
Dang....cant think of anything else...

8 places I like to eat

La Casita
Costa Vida
Outback
Texas Roadhouse
Kneaders
Wendys
Taco Time
Zubs

8 things I'm looking forward to

Finding a house
Trying on wedding dresses
Austin selling his Jeep
Austin getting a different Jeep
Taking a nap
Twilight movie
My birfday
Winter...I love the snow

8 things on my wishlist

An awesome foreclosed home to come on the market
I hope the loan on the other home falls through:)
Lots of money
Healthy family
To lose weight and get buff....so I can look fabulous in a wedding dress.
...........

8 people I tag (sorry guys, your my only blogging friends)
Jessica
Whitney
Nikki Sly
Crystal
Julia
Colbie

2008-10-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted to do a Twilight inspired picture where Austin was holding and apple but he wasn't down for that. So, I settled for a traditional kiss in an apple orchard:)

Isn't Whitney awesome? This is a Save the Date Card that she made. It would be cute for invitations don't you think?

9.12.09 Bitches!

2008-10-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome picture my future SIL did. We went up to the castle at the mental hospital and froze our butts off!! We got some really cute pictures but this one is so far my favorite. It really captures Austin's sense of humor. 9.12.09 was Whitney's idea, but "Bitches" was, of course, Austin's idea. It actually turned out pretty cute. I'm not so sure we could send it out as our invitations but I'll definitely have it framed in our home:) Thank you so much Whitney! I can not wait to see the rest of them.

We are engaged!

2008-10-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

We are finally engaged after two LONG years and I couldn't be happier! He took me up to Sundance to ride the lift. We went up last year to look at the changing leaves so I didn't suspect anything. We got on the lift behind some really loud annyoing people, so he asked if I wanted to listen to his Ipod. He put it on Big & Rich, Lost in this Moment (which is our song). I still didn't suspect anything. Then out of nowhere he yells, "There is a moose!". I was searching everywhere then I looked back to him and he was holding my ring:) I had to remind him what to ask me. 5 minutes later he said, "Will you marry me?" It was so cute and special, I couldn't have asked for more.